“It’s time to see ourselves with kinder eyes and remember that the miles we’ve walked and the battles we’ve fought brought us to this point…right now.
This is who we are today.” ~Susannah Conway
Rainy Day Yellows
I takes em where I sees em: ceiling at the PT clinic
Sometimes the cloud of what I don’t have passes over the mountain of what I do. This, too, is life.
One of the rare mornings I am up before him.
I’ve neglected this blog, I’ll admit. It’s mostly been a dumping ground for my Instagram feed. I sure haven’t written anything. And I’ve been glad about that. I haven’t needed to write anything. Kelley the Patient no longer existed—I was Kelley the Woman free and clear.
Well, I am once again mired in a drawn out healing process that is kicking my ass, and I’ve decided to resurrect this blog as a guide path to get me through.
A little back story: as you can see, I’m on crutches. I’ve been on crutches for 6 weeks. My doctors assure me I will not be on them forever, but no one is able to tell me when exactly I’ll be able to walk on my own. Next week? Maybe. Next month? It’s possible. Next decade? It will definitely be before then. I think.
Why am I on crutches? Well, for the past two years (plus) I’ve been living with a torn ligament in my hip. Unfortunately I wasn’t seeing the right doctors, so no one knew why I was in constant pain. Once I finally got the right diagnosis, the only option was surgery. The ligament was sewn up, my femoral head was shaved (I know, gross), and I was on the road to recovery.
Which turns out is even worse than the road to surgery.
But, as my therapist is fond of reminding me, this is a temporary situation. I may not know what the endpoint is, but it exists. In the meantime, I need to make my life about more than physical therapy and doctor’s appointments.
Once again I am going to try to post something every day. Even if it’s just a picture of my crutches.